Software Engineers in India

This is how software engineers die in India.


PATNI Method: 


After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …


… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment 


Tell him to work late and even on weekends...


He gets frustrated and dies slowly …




Cognizant Method: 


Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.


give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.


hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit 


give them same gobi 65 to eat 


hire 200 more....... and more ....... 




TCS method: 


Hire a lion 


give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary


lion dies of hunger and frustration




Accenture Method: 


Hire a lion.... 


Send him to chennai 


Ask him to stay on bench for a long time


Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada 


No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...


No good food, No water.


And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger". 


Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......




IBM's method: 


Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...


he dies of unemployment... 




Syntel Method: 


Hire a Cat ... 


assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and


make sure that he never reaches onsite. 


Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion.... 






i-Flex Method: 


Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari


for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes


alive he will get band movement (promotion) 


holy cow dies in fear of the real lion 








Polaris Method: 


Hire..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..


change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM ) 


cut down his allowance (coupons etc)


lion dies from fear of becoming CAT..... 








Capgemini Method: 


Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...


the lion dies before joining.... 






Wipro Method: 


Hire a Lion,


give him a mail Id. 


he will die receiving stupid mails all day........!!!! 








HUAWEI Method: 


Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...


Give him work of 3 Lions 


Tell him to work late and even on weekends...


No time for food and family, automatically die








THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST ...............






INFOSYS METHOD: 


HIRE A LION..... 


Send him for onsite and makes him feel like


King of the jungle 


Make him lots of training.....


Lion turns into Cat


Ask him to do Production which has nothing with he learned in training


Rat runs here & there for help


Ask him to do Mandatory certifications


Rat commits Suicide