Thursday, 29 December 2011
Software Engineers in India
This is how software engineers die in India.
PATNI Method:
After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …
Cognizant Method:
Hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
Hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
IBM's method:
Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
i-Flex Method:
Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
Polaris Method:
Hire..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Capgemini Method:
Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die receiving stupid mails all day........!!!!
HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST ...............
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
Send him for onsite and makes him feel like
King of the jungle
Make him lots of training.....
Lion turns into Cat
Ask him to do Production which has nothing with he learned in training
Rat runs here & there for help
Ask him to do Mandatory certifications
Rat commits Suicide
Monday, 26 December 2011
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Kolaveri di (Software engineer version)
Yo it guys
I am singing song
Project song…
Client song…
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di..
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di..
Rhythm correct
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di..
Maintain please
Why this kolaveri.. aa di.
Aa.. distance la office office
office lo worku.
worku full a issuesu issuesu.
issuesu sloving nightout.
Haan.. why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di
White-u skinu clientu clientu
Clientu heartu Blacku
Issue u Issue u meet u meet u
... My appraisal darku
Haan..why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di
Maama, notes edhuthuko,
Appdiye kaiyla snacks edhuthuko,
Pa pa pa ppaan, pa pa pa ppaan, pa pa pa ppaan pa pa ppan
Sariya code Eledhu (@%#…….)
Hunhhahaha..
Super maama Project Ready..
Client Ready aa.. one..e.. two.o.. three.. four.
Adhe…
Hun… um
Ha…
Hun…
Whah, wat a change project mama
Ok mama, now code change-u
Uunu..aa..
Kaila Keyboard-u
-Only english-a
Hand-u la Keyboard-u
Editor la code-u
code-u full-aa bugs-u
Empty life-u No Project came-u
Life-u reverse gear-u
Aa..Bug bug u.
Oh my bug u
U showed me BOW u
client-u client-u, holi client-u,
I want u hear now-u
Godu I m dying now-u
PM is happy how-u
This-u song for it guys-u
We dont have choice-u..e…
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri..di
Friday, 23 December 2011
ADVANCE HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012
Dear Friend….
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Don't too hard but work smart. May your boss appreciate you and say .
Take care of yourself . Pamper yourself and buy some beautiful .
Don't worry coz will come from above. May you also purchase or change a and a . May the days ahead be busy but easy , and go around the world. It's important to have good health, therefore, eat more and , but not too much .
Do remember to at least once a week. Don't with your sweetheart, and be generous to say .Here's wishing you well in December 2011 and best wishes to all your in the coming year 2012!
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
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